Ideally as a caregiver, we thought we had one big happy family. When a loved one becomes ill or disabled, everyone would pitch in to do their share. Initially, it started out that way. Maybe it lasted for a few weeks or a few months. Eventually others had reasons not to share the ongoing responsibilities and obligations that are a part of caregiving. Brotherly and sisterly love seemed to disappear. Siblings start to remember other commitments. Anger and resentment start to creep into relationships. Old hurts start to show up. Suddenly someone remembers a grade school incident that was never really settled. Have any of your siblings played the “favorites game” insisting that your parent favored one sibling over the other? The caregiver wonders whose family is this? Sometimes, the dominant caregiver is the one who is geographically the closest to the loved one. Sometimes the youngest or the oldest child becomes the caregiver. Or it can be the child the other siblings consider to have less outside responsibilities. How should we choose a dominant caregiver? Should we choose one? Caregiving is a shared responsibility among family members. Perhaps one member is more suited to other tasks than others. However as caregivers, let’s allow each family member to do his or her part and to accept the role in which they are best suited. Is this an easy task? Of course not. Is it possible to perform with less strain and drain on all family members? Yes. Are you willing to do your part? The focus is on you.
Remember, “Caregivers Need Care Too”.
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