Caregivers and Siblings

Ideally as a caregiver, we thought we had one big happy family. When a loved one becomes ill or disabled, everyone would pitch in to do their share. Initially, it started out that way. Maybe it lasted for a few weeks or a few months. Eventually others had reasons not to share the ongoing responsibilities and obligations that are a part of caregiving. Brotherly and sisterly love seemed to disappear. Siblings start to remember other commitments. Anger and resentment start to creep into relationships. Old hurts start to show up. Suddenly someone remembers a grade school incident that was never really settled. Have any of your siblings played the “favorites game” insisting that your parent favored one sibling over the other? The caregiver wonders whose family is this? Sometimes, the dominant caregiver is the one who is geographically the closest to the loved one. Sometimes the youngest or the oldest child becomes the caregiver. Or it can be the child the other siblings consider to have less outside responsibilities. How should we choose a dominant caregiver? Should we choose one? Caregiving is a shared responsibility among family members. Perhaps one member is more suited to other tasks than others. However as caregivers, let’s allow each family member to do his or her part and to accept the role in which they are best suited. Is this an easy task? Of course not. Is it possible to perform with less strain and drain on all family members? Yes. Are you willing to do your part? The focus is on you.

Remember, “Caregivers Need Care Too”.
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Who Cares

Everyone wants to be loved. No one wants to be hurt. We all strive for acceptance. As adults, it still makes our day when we do or say something that gets approval. Caregiving is a part of that loving, caring, acceptance and approval. My recent participation in the Memory Walk for Alzheimer’s demonstrated that love and acceptance. There were so many people walking for the cause. Some were there because they wanted to show their loved ones they cared. Others were there to offer support for the friends and family who had been affected by Alzheimer’s. I would imagine some walkers were even there because they enjoyed walking. Did I forget to mention those who wanted to be noticed. Whatever the reason, we all benefited. There were walkers wearing t shirts with photos of their loved ones. Walkers were carrying banners, posters, wearing necklaces, singing, running. Some participants were in wheelchairs, strollers, on skates,skateboards. Do our loved ones appreciate we are champions for this cause? Does it make a difference to them? Many people care about Alzheimer’s and are doing their part to make a difference?