Category: caregiver

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A Day At The DMV

 

  • Recently my daughter and I spent a few hours at the DMV. She was getting registration, new license and other requirements for her car. It was another way for us to spend quality time together. (If you are familiar with DMV lines, you know we had more than enough time to share special moments)
    She received her number and was told it would probably be a 45 minute wait. We left for a snack and returned. Her number B105 had not been called when we returned.
    How do you spend time at the DMV? We waited, talked and observed others.
    As we were watching and waiting, we noticed several seniors entering with their caregivers. (we assumed) Some of them were using assistance devices — walkers and canes. My daughter’s question to me was, “Mommie, why are they here? Is it for State Identification?” My response was “They are here for drivers licenses.”
    The disbelief on her face was quite apparent. Our watching and waiting continued. We heard their numbers being called. We watched them take their vision test. We observed as their #caregivers assisted them with all transactions. (check writing, holding them up to read signs, assisting with walking)
    The question is, how safe is it for seniors to drive? We all age differently and if you receive my blog or newsletter, we are Aging Gracefully. It must be noted that as we age, our strength is reduced along with our vision and our reaction times.
    There are precautions we all must take as we drive. Some are more important as we continue to age.
    Be certain we know the road signs.
    Travel on less busy streets.
    Drive during daylight hours.
    Use public transportation.
    Try ride sharing.
    It is everyone’s responsibility to be a safe and defensive driver. Let’s do our part to continually improve as we age and to understand that age can interfere with our driving. Have that conversation with your loved one about driving. Refer them to DMV or have their physician have a talk with them if you are not successful in convincing them to drive less or to allow others to assist them with their driving.
    Happy Driving to You.
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Caregiver Magic for the Holidays

What is your lucky number for the holidays? Let’s start the countdown. There is Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanzaa and New Years? Is that enough holiday magic for you? Under most circumstances, most people would start feeling a little stressed and burnout. If you are a caregiver, let’s double or even triple the confusion that may be a part of all these activities and festivities. How do you handle it?

First, let’s practice being as calm as possible. Does that mean closing your eyes and counting to 10 or to some higher number if necessary? We can practice caring about people instead of some of the “crazy things” our relatives are doing. Does it really matter if your recipe is not a carbon copy of your grandmothers?
Is it possible for your to stop seeking approval? Have you learned it can be more than a challenge attempting to please everyone?

No one is perfect. I will repeat, “No one is Perfect”.

Trust yourself as a caregiver and as a person. You are bringing and maintaining the magic in this holiday season. Be inspired. Smile. You will feel better. Relax. Take some pictures. You will have a few months before the next big holiday.

Wishing you and your family the best.
Remember caregivers need care too.
Let me know some of your caregiving tips.

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Caregivers and Denial

Can you remember the first time you started denying something? Was it when you accidentally lost something from an elementary teacher? Was it a matter of convenience in your preteen years? Has denial continued to be a part of your life as you have become a mature and responsible adult? Many caregivers deal with denial on a day-to-day basis. Sometimes we tell ourselves our loved ones are constantly improving or their health situation is not as bad as it seems or it is going to get better. We just have to allow more time and patience. Have we convinced ourselves that our denial is reality or are we continuing to “pull the wool” over our own eyes? As we continue to avoid the reality of our loved ones aging and ailing process, how are we helping ourselves to be more effective caregivers? What steps are you taking to overcome the denial of your caregiving relationship? I would be pleased for you to share with our community. Leave your message for others to share.

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Happy Thanksgiving Week

In America, this is the week most people start preparing for Thanksgiving. Traditions are followed with favorite family foods, visits from friends and family. In the last few decades, more consumerism has crept into this family oriented holiday. As caregivers for family members, we sometimes wonder how much of this tradition we are able to maintain. Do we continue with the enormous fancy meal? Do we prepare a simpler and sometimes healthier version of a family favorite? Will it continue to be the family favorite? Do we include the older family members in the preparations? How do we include the younger family members to become an integral part of this celebration? There are some 40 and 50 year-old people who are eager to visit parents as the parents and grandparents continue to work tirelessly preparing this annual dinner. When do they graduate to assisting with this tradition? As this week of giving thanks emerges, let us thank our loved ones and share with our elders. This includes learning the family secrets and getting your hands into the mix. Some family history might be learned and so much more for continued thanksgiving.