In passing, I saw a friend who is the caregiver for a loved one. It was late afternoon. She informed me they were out for a ride. No special place to go or no scheduled appointment. She thought it was time for a change of scenery for her mother. They live together. The mother is 90. This break from the regular day-to-day routine was good for both the daughter and her mother. The mother, sitting very tall, in the front seat seemed overjoyed just to be out and observing the comings and goings of the passerby’s.It really is the little things that count in life. No special planning was necessary for this trip. This was a break for the caregiver to interact with others and an opportunity for her mother to see and to be seen. Sometimes, the extra mile is not a long distance trip.
What is Your Caregiving Role?
Are you the caregiver to your parent? Are you feeling like a child or are you feeling like the parent of your parent? How do you manage the role of caregiver with that of child? Are you giving your parent the respect of a parent? Is it necessary to be a disciplinarian? Are you comfortable talking with your parent about your function as the caregiver? Is your parent secretive? Does your parent think you should already know the information you are requesting? Does your parent rely on you for most things in their day-to-day life? As you continue to educate yourself as the caregiver, the guidelines become more clear. Get the answers to these questions and more. Remember, Caregivers Need Care Too.
State of the Caregiver
January brings in the New Year. We have resolutions or declarations or intentions. The president gives a state of the union address; governors give state of state addresses; mayors state of city addresses. Where does that leave the caregiver? Do we set intentions for our caregiving needs wants and desires? Do we give these addresses to our family, friends and fellow caregivers? What is included in our state of the caregiver address? How about all the accomplishments we made in the last year as a caregiver? Do we remember the services we unwillingly provided? How often do we mention how appreciative we are of everyone who assisted us in and on our caregiving journey? What are our plans and objectives for this year? How effective has our follow up been for the month of January. Let’s put our intentions for our caregiving state address in writing and continue to journal periodically. Because caregivers need care too.
Patience for Caregivers
Many caregivers are responsible for more than one of their loved ones. There may still be children in the home who are in school. There may be children who have just left for college. There may be an ailing spouse or an aging parent. When does the caregiver take or find time for him or herself? Does she grow tired and weary? Is she on occasion frustrated, angry, confused? How often does she have a pity party? Caregiving is often not a shared responsibility. Sometimes the caregiver is the only family member living in close proximity to the loved one. Sometimes other family members do not feel suited for this task. How does the designated caregiver cope? Resources, friends, professionals and experts are available to share information to make this new-found role less overwhelming. Remember caregivers need care too.