I remember one of the dreaded, though much anticipated, calls from my Aunt Jennie, whom I had recently become Power of Attorney. Aunt Jennie was not able to continue paying her monthly bills. It was not a matter of finances. Her arthritis, in conjunction with Alzheimers no longer afforded her the quality of independence she was accustomed to.
I set up most of her utilities and monthly payments with direct deposit. This made it easier for both of us.
I entered this situation somewhat blindly– not being aware of her financial situation.
It’s important to know how much money is available? She was a retired nurse and received a pension from her deceased spouse. Where is the money coming from? Where is it going? There was no mortgage. Only the regular utilities. Living in the northeast, the winter utilities were more than summer and spring. The regular payments included telephone, no internet, insurances and cable. Of course there were the annual property taxes.
Growing up during the depression, Aunt Jennie saved for emergencies.
We were able to manage the finances with few problems until she was placed in a nursing care facility. Was the placement long-term? Would her home have to be sold? Did she have long-term care insurance? Was her burial in place? Was her will up-to-date?
As a caregiver, we are sometimes focusing on the health and well-being of our loved ones.
We must take the time to determine if the finances are in order and who is responsible when our loved one is no longer competent to make the financial decisions.
This is all a part of caring for the caregiver.
Let me hear your financial caregiving stories.
www.caregiversneedcaretoo.com
Three R’s for Caregivers
Reading, writing and arithmatic are important for caregivers. You read to your loved ones — checking their important documents, prescriptions and subscriptions. Perhaps they are not doing all their business on line. There is writing. The math comes into play with medicine dosages and their financial concerns.
Those are the reliable 3 R’s. However, there is a new group of R’s for caregivers. They are Reality, Risks and Results.
It generally takes some time for caregivers to realize the gravity full time care for a loved one. The day-to-day caring for mom or dad or a spouse can become overwhelming after a long period of time. How long is this new arrangement going to last? Who is there in a supporting role? Many caregivers become caregivers for 4 or more years. Depending on the health of our loved one, the caregiving may become progressive requiring more and more attention and time from the caregiver and their usual daily activities.
What risks are involved for the caregiver? Are you still working a full-time job and realizing that caregiving requires more and more of your time? Do you still have near-adult children at home or returning home from college? What happens to your personal relationships? Are you spending enough time with your spouse and your friends? Are you as a caregiver prepared for these and other risks? How about your health? Are you exercising, eating properly, getting adequate rest and taking “time outs”?
The third R is results. What are the results of your caregiving for your loved one? How much balance is in your life? How are you feeling about your new or not so new role as caregiver? Have you sought and reached out for support? Have you thought about what happens next?
If you would like more information on Caring for the Caregiver, send me a message. Caregivers give their best. They also deserve the best of care for themselves. Let me hear your thoughts.
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310 673 3349
To Thine Self Be True
How long will it take you to list the on-going responsibilites you encounter as a caregiver? There are various phases. The day-to-day tasks often become more and more progressive as our loved ones continue on their journey. How do you- the caregiver- determine if you are the chosen one to assist your family member through this transition? Is there another family memvver who has more patience than you? Has another family member or friend been trained to handle some of the caregiving responsibilites that you aren’t quite sure of handling?
Being a caregiver requires self-knowledge. You really have to know your tolerance levels. Are you able to answer the same question over and over again from the dementia parent? How about the lifting and food preparation? Realize it’s admirable to delegate some of your services. It eases the load for you.
How many hours of sleep are you getting on a regular basis to function at your best? Are you taking naps? Are you getting exercise? Are you eating properly?
What about boundaries? Have you established requirements for your to-do list? Have you permanently removed some items from that list?
Are you continuing to take and spend time with other family members and friends? Getting lost in the midst of caregiving is easy. Remaining true to your self is necessary and much deserved. There may be days when you feel like spending time alone. Call in a friend, neighbor or family member who is constantly asking,”how can I help”. You will be relieved and others will be able to experience some of your daily routine. Go to see a movie. Take a walk on the beach or to the park. Go to the library and read a book.
If you are true to yourself. You will be more comfortable and a better caregiver for your loved one. It’s crucial for you to get the care you want, need and deserve because CareGivers Need Care Too.
Call me for a complimentary consultation. 310 673 3349 www.caregiversneedcaretoo.com
Mothering Mom or Dad
Becoming the caregiver for our loved ones can lead to many hours of self-reflection. Remembering the self-made cards we made for our mom on Mother’s Day. Rembember the hand imprints and the tissue flowers. As caregivers, sharing those memories with Mom may bring back pleasant memories. It is now our time to nurture, protect and be responsible for our parents. This requires the patience that Mom showed us. It is also necessary for us to take time for ourselves. Caregiving can be one of the most challenging and difficult jobs because most caregivers do not choose this job. We are chosen to protect and assist our loved ones. Caregiving is a time for you — the caregiver — to ask for support and assistance. It is very similar to the times when we asked Mom to help us tie our shoes, help us with a school project (which oftentimes she completed) or to share an important experience with us. Join New Beginnings for a Mother’s Day special which includes 2 coaching sessions for the price of one. Call 310 673 3349 or email [email protected] or more information. Remember caregivers need care too.