Remember boundaries from school and at home. “Don’t color outside the line. All assignments must be turned in before the second bell. Only ride your bike on this street. Be home before dark.” Why do we have boundaries?
As caregivers, we can probably think of many boundaries. How are these boundaries established? Who determines our boundaries or the boundaries of those for whom we are caring?
Boundaries are those areas that we determine will not be crossed for any reason. (most of the time) There are usually exceptions which lead to other exceptions. What happens to our boundaries?
On the caregiving journey, there are agreements with other family members. Perhaps it’s something as simple as a weekly day of relaxation for the primary caregiver. One week passes, with no respite. Another week passes which turns into months with no relaxation or “me time”. What happened to the boundary?
Do we remind our family member of this caregiving agreement? How important is it to each of us that the agreement is honored?
To avoid stress, overwhelm and eventually depression, it is essential to establish and maintain boundaries. This process involves, saying what we mean and meaning what we say. It’s about being direct.
What are your responsibilities as a caregiver? Are you performing all the tasks– Multi-tasking — laundry, cooking, cleaning, bill paying, scheduling medical appointments. Remember to set boundaries.
Delegate some of the responsibilities. Barter some of the services. You will be amazed to find that someone actually prefers to do something that you prefer not to. Constantly remind family members of your boundaries. It’s a part of your continual growth, health and well-being.
Reward yourself often because caregivers need care too.