As a caregiver, how does your life change during the summer? Is it easy? Is it easier? How are you taking better care of yourself to be there for your loved one? Are you getting more rest? Are you accepting invitations from friends and family members? Are you exercising, meditating and eating lighter?
Let’s look at some of the possibilities of summer. The weather is warmer. This may be a time to participate in more outdoor activities with your loved one. Plan a meal outside if possible. A nice glass of lemonade may bring back childhood memories that you both remember and enjoy.
Opening a window to allow the fresh breeze to flow through can make a difference.
Call friends over for an impromptu potluck meal with the fresh fruits and vegetables that are readily available during the summer months. This frees up some of your cooking responsibilities and gives you a break while others are spending time with your loved one. Have you practiced a 10-15 minute power nap?
This is another time to share stories from the past which can be emotionally healing for everyone.
Summertime is when we clear out the clutter and debris from winter and fall. The cleared space is calming and comforting and we find objects that were hidden away for the past few months.
What else can you do with the extra hours of daylight?
Summertime can be a new season of gratitude and thanksgiving. The warm days and cool evenings bring on an attitude of renewal — a new beginning.
Let me know what you plan to take away or bring into your life as a caregiver as your caregiving evolves this summer. I am eager to hear about the differences you have made and are making in the next few weeks of summer.
Remember, as a caregiver, challenge yourself, laugh, take out special times just for you. You deserve it because caregivers need care too.
Our next caregiver discussion is coming up in August. We want you there.
www.caregiversneedcaretoo.com
What Are Your Caregiver Boundaries
Remember boundaries from school and at home. “Don’t color outside the line. All assignments must be turned in before the second bell. Only ride your bike on this street. Be home before dark.” Why do we have boundaries?
As caregivers, we can probably think of many boundaries. How are these boundaries established? Who determines our boundaries or the boundaries of those for whom we are caring?
Boundaries are those areas that we determine will not be crossed for any reason. (most of the time) There are usually exceptions which lead to other exceptions. What happens to our boundaries?
On the caregiving journey, there are agreements with other family members. Perhaps it’s something as simple as a weekly day of relaxation for the primary caregiver. One week passes, with no respite. Another week passes which turns into months with no relaxation or “me time”. What happened to the boundary?
Do we remind our family member of this caregiving agreement? How important is it to each of us that the agreement is honored?
To avoid stress, overwhelm and eventually depression, it is essential to establish and maintain boundaries. This process involves, saying what we mean and meaning what we say. It’s about being direct.
What are your responsibilities as a caregiver? Are you performing all the tasks– Multi-tasking — laundry, cooking, cleaning, bill paying, scheduling medical appointments. Remember to set boundaries.
Delegate some of the responsibilities. Barter some of the services. You will be amazed to find that someone actually prefers to do something that you prefer not to. Constantly remind family members of your boundaries. It’s a part of your continual growth, health and well-being.
Reward yourself often because caregivers need care too.
Are You the Confident Caregiver?
We are courageous, strong and have a sense of self-belief in our abilities as caregivers. Does that mean we are confident caregivers? We feel safe and understood as we carry on with our day-to-day caregiving responsibilities. Or do we?
After days, weeks, months and years as the primary caregiver for a loved one, do we feel appreciated? Do you begin to look at caregiving from a different perspective? Are you able to draw confidence from others?
Has the confidence you once exuded turned into control? There is a significant difference?
Confidence allows us to give and to continue to receive. It allows us to hear and to listen to the voices and challenges of others. Confidence nurtures the wonderful caring spirit in the midst of our caregiving. Of course, there are times when time-outs are essential and many times when they are sought after.
Controlling a caregiving situation can lead to unfavorable domination, commanding and unnecessary micro-managing.
Are you a confident caregiver or a controlling caregiver? During the next few days, observe your actions. Make necessary adjustments. You can do this.
How are you handing your emotions? How comfortable are you as you focus on the real intention of your caregiving? Sometimes re-evaluating the scenario is needed. Share your thoughts and feelings with others.
Let’s continue to honor our gifts and talents and reach out to others as necessary.
A support system is always helpful as we focus on caring for ourselves and those who depend on us for care.
Confidence allows you to let go of what no longer works as we move more toward feeling safe, understood and accepted. That’s the confident caregiver.
Remember, Caregivers need, want and deserve care also. Your opinion matters. Let me hear from you. 310 673 3340
www.caregiversneedcaretoo.
Becoming the “Carer” of/for Your Parent
Caregiver flyer group couple ladyIt still does not resonate with many adult children — they are becoming or have become the “carers” of their parent. How did this happen. We always look for Mom and Dad for guidance, encouragement and support. Now for many adult children, these roles have been and are being reversed.
What tools do these adult children have in place to become the caregivers of the parents? How do we mother Mom and father Dad? Where are the boundaries? Do we care for them in our home or do we move in with them? What about adult day centers if we — the adult children — are still working outside the home? Have we thought of assisted living, in-home support or even nursing care facilities?
I want to share this article with you and look forward to hearing your feedback.
Remember, Caregivers need care too.