This weekend most of us in the US will turn our clocks back one hour. What do we do with that extra hour we lost last spring? Are we moving forward this fall or reverting to familiar habits? Sleeping in or taking advantage to get moving.
As a caregiver — caring for loved ones — what changes have you made in the past six months? Are you taking more time for yourself? Have you accepted the support from others? Are you allowing your loved one to be as independent as possible?
For me, fall is a time of reflection. As the leaves slowly change their colors and dart the grounds in special places, I think about life changes I, my family and friends have made.
Maybe some have gone away to college. moved away for career changes, started new careers, met new friends, started and ended relationships that are no longer supportive or just not working.
I think about how friendships have lasted. Although we are not in touch as often. Whenever there is a telephone call, it is appreciated and we reminisce and catch up since the last time.
I think about relatives who have made their transitions. What life feels like without them — no matter how long it’s been. I think of stories and experiences we shared. I am mindful of what I am holding on to. I focus on the good.
Fall is also a time for me to visualize the future. It’s not only a New Year’s resolution. How am I improving? What can I do differently? What does it take for me to be more disciplined?
As we fall into fall this weekend — although fall is officially here — let’s enjoy our friends and family as we look to the future and all that is in store for us.
Take some special time to savor your cup of tea. Enjoy a nice walk on a crisp morning. Watch the sun rise. Share a special recipe. Accept a special invitation to enjoy yourself and captivate your audience or just to listen to others. Commit to take care of You. Because you deserve it.
Happy Fall.
Let me know what you are doing this fall. [email protected] 310 673 3349 www.caregiversneedcaretoo.com
Summertime and the Caregiving Is —
As a caregiver, how does your life change during the summer? Is it easy? Is it easier? How are you taking better care of yourself to be there for your loved one? Are you getting more rest? Are you accepting invitations from friends and family members? Are you exercising, meditating and eating lighter?
Let’s look at some of the possibilities of summer. The weather is warmer. This may be a time to participate in more outdoor activities with your loved one. Plan a meal outside if possible. A nice glass of lemonade may bring back childhood memories that you both remember and enjoy.
Opening a window to allow the fresh breeze to flow through can make a difference.
Call friends over for an impromptu potluck meal with the fresh fruits and vegetables that are readily available during the summer months. This frees up some of your cooking responsibilities and gives you a break while others are spending time with your loved one. Have you practiced a 10-15 minute power nap?
This is another time to share stories from the past which can be emotionally healing for everyone.
Summertime is when we clear out the clutter and debris from winter and fall. The cleared space is calming and comforting and we find objects that were hidden away for the past few months.
What else can you do with the extra hours of daylight?
Summertime can be a new season of gratitude and thanksgiving. The warm days and cool evenings bring on an attitude of renewal — a new beginning.
Let me know what you plan to take away or bring into your life as a caregiver as your caregiving evolves this summer. I am eager to hear about the differences you have made and are making in the next few weeks of summer.
Remember, as a caregiver, challenge yourself, laugh, take out special times just for you. You deserve it because caregivers need care too.
Our next caregiver discussion is coming up in August. We want you there.
www.caregiversneedcaretoo.com
What Are Your Caregiver Boundaries
Remember boundaries from school and at home. “Don’t color outside the line. All assignments must be turned in before the second bell. Only ride your bike on this street. Be home before dark.” Why do we have boundaries?
As caregivers, we can probably think of many boundaries. How are these boundaries established? Who determines our boundaries or the boundaries of those for whom we are caring?
Boundaries are those areas that we determine will not be crossed for any reason. (most of the time) There are usually exceptions which lead to other exceptions. What happens to our boundaries?
On the caregiving journey, there are agreements with other family members. Perhaps it’s something as simple as a weekly day of relaxation for the primary caregiver. One week passes, with no respite. Another week passes which turns into months with no relaxation or “me time”. What happened to the boundary?
Do we remind our family member of this caregiving agreement? How important is it to each of us that the agreement is honored?
To avoid stress, overwhelm and eventually depression, it is essential to establish and maintain boundaries. This process involves, saying what we mean and meaning what we say. It’s about being direct.
What are your responsibilities as a caregiver? Are you performing all the tasks– Multi-tasking — laundry, cooking, cleaning, bill paying, scheduling medical appointments. Remember to set boundaries.
Delegate some of the responsibilities. Barter some of the services. You will be amazed to find that someone actually prefers to do something that you prefer not to. Constantly remind family members of your boundaries. It’s a part of your continual growth, health and well-being.
Reward yourself often because caregivers need care too.
Are You the Confident Caregiver?
We are courageous, strong and have a sense of self-belief in our abilities as caregivers. Does that mean we are confident caregivers? We feel safe and understood as we carry on with our day-to-day caregiving responsibilities. Or do we?
After days, weeks, months and years as the primary caregiver for a loved one, do we feel appreciated? Do you begin to look at caregiving from a different perspective? Are you able to draw confidence from others?
Has the confidence you once exuded turned into control? There is a significant difference?
Confidence allows us to give and to continue to receive. It allows us to hear and to listen to the voices and challenges of others. Confidence nurtures the wonderful caring spirit in the midst of our caregiving. Of course, there are times when time-outs are essential and many times when they are sought after.
Controlling a caregiving situation can lead to unfavorable domination, commanding and unnecessary micro-managing.
Are you a confident caregiver or a controlling caregiver? During the next few days, observe your actions. Make necessary adjustments. You can do this.
How are you handing your emotions? How comfortable are you as you focus on the real intention of your caregiving? Sometimes re-evaluating the scenario is needed. Share your thoughts and feelings with others.
Let’s continue to honor our gifts and talents and reach out to others as necessary.
A support system is always helpful as we focus on caring for ourselves and those who depend on us for care.
Confidence allows you to let go of what no longer works as we move more toward feeling safe, understood and accepted. That’s the confident caregiver.
Remember, Caregivers need, want and deserve care also. Your opinion matters. Let me hear from you. 310 673 3340
www.caregiversneedcaretoo.