Your life as a caregiver is usually not planned. There are probably signs that are often ignored. It is so easy for us to live our lives in denial. Often this is not intentional. It just feels better, requires less attention and can be habit forming. Eventually we accept the role of caregiving. The challenges and rewards are a part of that journey. Sometimes we reach out to others. Friends listen attentively to our stories. There is the occasional respite. We seek out support from groups and familiar organizations. We feel it is our responsibility and obligation to our loved ones. We become more and more drained and stressed as we fulfill these ongoing tasks. We begin losing focus. One day turns uneventfully into the next week and the following month. So much time has elapsed. We are no longer in touch with our friends. We have lost many of our connections; especially the self-connection. Where will we go, what will we do when this stage of our life concludes? Let me hear your thoughts? What are your plans for the final caregiving stages?
Self Care Journey
I remember watching Mrs. Lewis as I grew up. She was always “taken care of”. I never saw her unkempt. I wondered how she always managed to look so perfect even in the sweltering heat and humidity of the southern summers. Her schedule was no different from many of the other mothers in the community. She worked outside the home. She had two children. She participated in community events. She was just always polished. I never had the nerve to ask about her time management or secrets. I ventured back to this childhood place after 25 years. I attended an event. Mrs. Lewis was in attendance. She looked the same. Her pace a bit slower, her hair sprinkled with more silver. She was amazingly dressed. Was I surprised? No. Our outer is a reflection of our inner self. Mrs. Lewis is confident. As caregivers, how are we managing our inner lives? Let’s start with a special outfit for no special purpose today. Use your smile as the complimentary accessory.
Caregiver Roadblocks
Are you stopping, yielding, detouring, taking caution? These are some of the roadblocks for caregivers? Sometimes caregivers stop all of their normal activities and dedicate their entire lives to their loved one. Don’t you still enjoy those activities? Your friends and associates are wondering what happened to you. This can cause stress and burnout. Your loved one wants you to continue to enjoy your life. Even when you are feeling a little guilty, go out and do something special for yourself. Don’t stop living.
Isolation
Feeling a bit isolated as a caregiver? Are you still spending time with friends? How often are you going out to do something special for yourself? Caregivers often spend most of their time caring for their loved one, they forget about themselves. This is easy and understandable. Who can remind you to carve time out of your caregiving relationship for you? What happens if you are away from your friends and your activities for too long? No, they don’t forget about you. They wonder if you have forgotten about them. Those friends and activities are still there patiently waiting for your return. New friends and activities are awaiting your arrival. Stop the hiding and get out and share with friends. You are worth it. Because Caregivers Need Care Too.