Blog

I remember watching Mrs. Lewis as I grew up. She was always “taken care of”. I never saw her unkempt. I wondered how she always managed to look so perfect even in the sweltering heat and humidity of the southern summers. Her schedule was no different from many of the other mothers in the community. She worked outside the home. She had two children. She participated in community events. She was just always polished. I never had the nerve to ask about her time management or secrets. I ventured back to this childhood place after 25 years. I attended an event. Mrs. Lewis was in attendance. She looked the same. Her pace a bit slower, her hair sprinkled with more silver. She was amazingly dressed. Was I surprised? No. Our outer is a reflection of our inner self. Mrs. Lewis is confident. As caregivers, how are we managing our inner lives? Let’s start with a special outfit for no special purpose today. Use your smile as the complimentary accessory.

Are you stopping, yielding, detouring, taking caution? These are some of the roadblocks for caregivers? Sometimes caregivers stop all of their normal activities and dedicate their entire lives to their loved one. Don’t you still enjoy those activities? Your friends and associates are wondering what happened to you. This can cause stress and burnout. Your loved one wants you to continue to enjoy your life. Even when you are feeling a little guilty, go out and do something special for yourself. Don’t stop living.

Feeling a bit isolated as a caregiver? Are you still spending time with friends? How often are you going out to do something special for yourself? Caregivers often spend most of their time caring for their loved one, they forget about themselves. This is easy and understandable. Who can remind you to carve time out of your caregiving relationship for you? What happens if you are away from your friends and your activities for too long? No, they don’t forget about you. They wonder if you have forgotten about them. Those friends and activities are still there patiently waiting for your return. New friends and activities are awaiting your arrival. Stop the hiding and get out and share with friends. You are worth it. Because Caregivers Need Care Too.

Many caregivers are parents, wives, husbands, sisters and brothers. They understand the responsibilities and comforts of those roles. As the children grow and leave the home, that role changes and the responsibility of parenting lessens or at least changes from the day-to-day hands on experience of having the children in the home.
As caregivers for our loved ones who are ailing or aging, we acquire an entirely new set of roles and learn to develop new skill sets.
Perhaps your wife for whom you have become the caregiver was the family accountant. You are learning to pay the bills, hire the assistants and balance the budget.
What happens when your husband took care of all the handyman chores of the household? Do you hire a gardener? What about an electrician or a plumber?
The caregiver’s concerns are not only about the care and well-being of the loved one, but now, there is the concern of who does what, how well do they perform their tasks, making new decisions.
These concerns can bring on extra stress and overwhelm in a caregivers life. Is it small stuff? Not to a caregiver.
Support groups and coaches are available to assist caregivers with these and other decision making choices. Remember, Caregivers Need Care Too.