Many caregivers are parents, wives, husbands, sisters and brothers. They understand the responsibilities and comforts of those roles. As the children grow and leave the home, that role changes and the responsibility of parenting lessens or at least changes from the day-to-day hands on experience of having the children in the home.
As caregivers for our loved ones who are ailing or aging, we acquire an entirely new set of roles and learn to develop new skill sets.
Perhaps your wife for whom you have become the caregiver was the family accountant. You are learning to pay the bills, hire the assistants and balance the budget.
What happens when your husband took care of all the handyman chores of the household? Do you hire a gardener? What about an electrician or a plumber?
The caregiver’s concerns are not only about the care and well-being of the loved one, but now, there is the concern of who does what, how well do they perform their tasks, making new decisions.
These concerns can bring on extra stress and overwhelm in a caregivers life. Is it small stuff? Not to a caregiver.
Support groups and coaches are available to assist caregivers with these and other decision making choices. Remember, Caregivers Need Care Too.
Spring Cleaning for Caregivers
It’s spring time. Usually it’s a time for clearing some of the debris and warming, comforting accessories of winter. Spring cleaning for caregivers can be a time to eliminate the stress, worry, confusion and anxiety that may be a part of your caregiving household. Are you pushing the stress under the rug? What happens if you shake it out, place it outside for airing? Will you be more content, more satisfied? Do you want to store worry and frustration away for another season? How about strategies, tactics and skills to remove it? Spring can be a time of renewal for you as you are caring for your loved one. You can make room for the things in your life that really matter. Remember your hopes, your dreams and your desires. There are family members, friends and associates who want to listen to you; who respect your opinions and who just want you to take some time for yourself. Let’s make this spring your new beginning. Clear the path for more sunshine to come into your life. Bigger and brighter days lie ahead. Remember, Caregivers Need Care Too.
Coaches and Caregivers
Why would or should you as a caregiver hire a coach? How would it feel to talk to someone who understands your caregiving experience and helps you to look at your concerns with a different point of view? What would you think if someone allowed you to express your anger, confusion, frustration without condemnation? Would you like to share some of your stories with a confidante? What would you think about someone supporting you to take time outs and spending extra time on “self-care’? Coaching is about supporting, assisting and encouraging you to handle your life situations with the balance that you deserve. Coaching can help you to re-determine your priorities and re-gain focus on what is important to you while you continue to care for your loved one. Caregivers really do need care too.
Caregivers Concern
While my aunt was still able to live in her home, the owner of a caregiver support agency came to visit with us. Aunt Jennie understood if we hired an assistant, she would be able to continue to live alone in her home as long as possible. She was prepared for the visit. She had an early breakfast, dressed herself and made sure the house was tidy. After pleasantries were exchanged, this polite lady began sharing the essential facts about her company and the relationship between families, clients and the staff. There was a brief question and answer period. I had spoken with her earlier to determine if this would be a “good fit” for our situation. The visitation was one of the final determining factors. Aunt Jennie listened carefully to the conversation and answered questions if asked. The most important outcome of this visit was my aunt’s response after the visit ended. She asked me, “How did I do”? I told her, you did a great job. I never considered she thought she was being carefully observed. This was not only about determining if we wanted this agency to send her staff to support us. To Aunt Jennie, she thought she was on display to impress all of us. Throughout the various stages of her dementia, she always wondered, “How did I do”.