I recently returned to the place of my childhood to visit family members. While there, I thought I would venture out to see older community members for great stories and for the unity that it brings.
Prior to my visit I found out a neighbor had been placed in a nursing facility due to a fall. How often do the aged suffer from falls? Many family members are not aware of “aging in place” . This allows family members to remain in their homes with proper adjustments — removing throw rugs to avoid slipping, placing grab bars on bathtubs, installing higher toilet seats, changing out dim light fixtures for brighter ones are just a few simple measures to make living at home longer easier for everyone.
I remember youthful visits to the Collins’ home. This was a large family. There always seemed to be treats available. Fresh homemade bread and delicious fruits in the summer. This one one of my favorite places to spend summer afternoons sitting on the porch or playing a game of softball or hopscotch.
After spending many years caring for her ailing husband, Mrs. Collins now needed someone to care for her. During all those years, she was providing the necessary care for him, only to neglect caring for herself.
Her health has been greatly compromised — failing kidneys requiring constant dialysis. The fall left her with a fractured pelvic bone. There is also some cognitive impairment. I wondered if she really remembered me.
After learning of what I call a tragedy, I focused on remembering when she allowed me to come into her home and have lunch, dinner or snacks with her children. She knew I was a lonely kid and needed the companionship of her children. I asked her about the homemade bread. She told me “it’s a lot easier to buy it now”. I thought, It certainly does not taste the same. I remember when …
As our loved ones continue to care for others, let us remember to remind, encourage them to take the time to care for themselves. It will make everyone’s life better and easier.
If you have questions about caring for yourself as you care for others, give me a call for a coaching session. It’s an investment in you and your health and well-being. Because I know caregivers need, deserve and want care.
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Aging Gracefully Now
During this first month of the New Year, many of us have made new year’s resolutions or intentions or wishes or set goals. How is it going for you?
It’s important to remember why you are setting these intentions. That makes it easier to continue striving toward our goals and objectives.
As caregivers, sharing much of our time and attention caring for others. how do we age gracefully? What must we do to focus on our own self care and self expression?
Getting adequate rest, including some form of exercise and eating a nutritious diet make a difference in our lives. Try new foods, grains, berries, fruits and dark green vegetables. Experiment with various cooking methods.
As we are caring for others, we can imagine and determine how to make definite changes to avoid some of the health issues our loves ones encounter. Have you scheduled your annual exams? Did you keep the appointments? What about legal documents? Are they in order? Have they been filed?
Statistics show that nearly 66 % of all Americans over the age of 60 have hypertension which can easily lead to strokes, diabetes and heart attacks. Caring for a loved one can be stressful. Stress is a major contributor to these diseases. Time outs and time management are crucial for caregivers.
Find some leisure activities. If watching television is an outlet for you. Make it work to your advantage. Ride a stationary bike during your favorite show. Move during the commercials. Take the time to nurture that hobby that you have been longing for. We all have special gifts and talents. Put them to good use.
Find activities that light up your life. Perhaps it’s a dance class, pottery, painting, writing, bowling, tennis. Pursue it. Make it a goal, an objective, an intention.
Listen to some of your favorite music and sing along. This is a wonderful stress reducer. Make it your personal party.
Face your fears. Know what’s reasonable and what is out of your control. Engage with others. There are many caregivers who want to share experiences other than their day-to-day caregiver responsibilities. It’s a way to meet and make new friends.
Congratulate yourself often for all that you do. Others depend on you. You are making a difference in their lives and in your life and the life of other family members who benefit from the care you are providing for your loved one.
Show gratitude and appreciation. Accept support and assistance from others. Be gentle with yourself. Feel good about feeling good and know that you are making a difference.
Let’s make this the year for Aging Gracefully because Caregivers need care too. Get the support you deserve from New Beginnings because caregivers need care too.
Tis the Season
For many this is not only the season of celebration and joy and peace, but also a time for remember the transition of those we have lost throughout the years. This year marks the 10th year of my husband’s death. Shall I call it an anniversary?
It was an early Monday morning (5:00 AM) that we experienced one of the most traumatic encounters of our lives.
Our 17 year old daughter was a senior in high school. When the doctors delivered this unfortunate announcement, her immediate response was “Daddy is not going to see me graduate”. I was instantaneously transformed into a pillar of strength — a guardian, a protector.
As senior class president, her graduation speech was phenomenal. We both know that her dad had the spiritual experience of being her greatest fan.
Ten years can seem like a very long time or if it involves a life partner, many of the moments cherished seem to be in the distant while others are very near and close to our hearts.
I remember the first few months of being home alone. I would listen for the sound of the garage door opening at 6:00 PM. It never opened. I sadly remembered it would not. I continued to sleep on my side of the bed. I recall returning from the college drop-off and unlocking the door to an empty space. I was alone for the first time in a very long time.
As the years have passed, I have become a caregiver, a coach, a best friend, an advocate. I am involved in community activities. I have had a few — not nearly enough — dates.
I have come to a better understanding of the importance of family — natural and chosen. I have done lots of soul searching. I am learning my real worth — mental, physical, spiritual, and financial.
Being there for others, makes it easier to share the experiences. It allows us to cherish the time we have with our love ones not only on holidays, but throughout the year. Our family celebrates just because we are special and deserving.
Tis the season of joy and love. How grateful I am to have had that special person in my life who shared and cared. Thank you, Joseph Mozelle.
Remember to focus on personal care during this holiday season. If the stress and overwhelm become more than you can handle, give me a call for a complimentary discovery session. Tis the season to share and care.
www.caregiversneedcaretoo.com 310 673 3349 [email protected]
Falling Back Into Fall
This weekend most of us in the US will turn our clocks back one hour. What do we do with that extra hour we lost last spring? Are we moving forward this fall or reverting to familiar habits? Sleeping in or taking advantage to get moving.
As a caregiver — caring for loved ones — what changes have you made in the past six months? Are you taking more time for yourself? Have you accepted the support from others? Are you allowing your loved one to be as independent as possible?
For me, fall is a time of reflection. As the leaves slowly change their colors and dart the grounds in special places, I think about life changes I, my family and friends have made.
Maybe some have gone away to college. moved away for career changes, started new careers, met new friends, started and ended relationships that are no longer supportive or just not working.
I think about how friendships have lasted. Although we are not in touch as often. Whenever there is a telephone call, it is appreciated and we reminisce and catch up since the last time.
I think about relatives who have made their transitions. What life feels like without them — no matter how long it’s been. I think of stories and experiences we shared. I am mindful of what I am holding on to. I focus on the good.
Fall is also a time for me to visualize the future. It’s not only a New Year’s resolution. How am I improving? What can I do differently? What does it take for me to be more disciplined?
As we fall into fall this weekend — although fall is officially here — let’s enjoy our friends and family as we look to the future and all that is in store for us.
Take some special time to savor your cup of tea. Enjoy a nice walk on a crisp morning. Watch the sun rise. Share a special recipe. Accept a special invitation to enjoy yourself and captivate your audience or just to listen to others. Commit to take care of You. Because you deserve it.
Happy Fall.
Let me know what you are doing this fall. [email protected] 310 673 3349 www.caregiversneedcaretoo.com